obsidianblaq's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- well then. that was interesting. fuuuuuuck. nomey and i went to my darling tanyas 20th birthday party last night. nomey was drunk by 7:30 and prancing around the lawn alternatively telling jake she hated him and hanging off him. it was like her... X8. crazy. i spent the first half of the night only slightly buzzed and caring for nomey and trev. then i was kinda like fuck it.. and took the alcohol required to stop caring about the moment being. i stumbled around to one side of the house and fell. and suddenly tanya was there. and we laughed like idiots and cried so hard we couldn't breathe. itwas a special moment. it really was. i told her things i hadn't told her before. and she cried into my shoulder about people. and then we laughed cause here we were completely fucked, sprawled on the lawn. she read me something that reminded her of me. but for the life of me i can't remember it. actually theres a lot of things i can't definitely remember. i can't figure out what i said.. to who. and it's bothering me. cause i want to remember what i've told others about me.. or my thoughts. and i can't. fuck. my lips were numb. and i couldn't stop laughing. tanya played me a pink floyd song too... i love my tan. jake essentialy laughed at me all night. i'm told i spent half of the time telling him i hated him. i don't really.. he just makes me sad sometimes. mr. i conviniently forget. but he was like it's ok, kay.. and was really rather good to me. i'm sitting on the couch upstairs and trevors being such a sweetheart and insisting i eat bread or drink water... being a great friend. i finally puked.. thank god, cause my mom was coming to get us at 11... and i closed the door behind me... next thing i know, tanyas rubbing my back and saying 'it'll be ok, hun...' she leaves and closes the door behind her. and then out of nowhere trevors by my side doing the same thing. seriously, out of nowhere. i didn't hear or see him come in. so i was like 'how the fuck did you get in here???' to which he says' i walked in the door.' but he helped me up, and walked me to the couch. not that i was having serious difficulties walking.. just that he's great. i asked trev to ask jake to come sit with me.. and he did. he walked into the room and i was like 'you came!!' cause i kinda half didn't expect him to. but he sat on the floor and held my hand and talked to me. i told him i could focus. so he holds up one finger, and i tell him how many he was. then 3, then 2. then he holds up his thumb and i'm like 'ah ha! thumb!' he laughed at me. cause he wouldn't have picked up on that. at one point i was outside and i can't remember how i got there... but i heard tanya say 'can you hold onto her?' and then wemmo spent 10 minutes just holding me... we talked about something or another.. and the only thing i can remember about it is that we were talking about how other people influence us.. like my faborite color and number are because of someone else... and he's like 'my favorite color is green.. i think'... it was special. cause the night before tan said 'kay.. you know who you should be with? wemmo.' and he's always been really quiet with me... so i wasn't too sure about that concept. but i relised last night that i just felt safe in his arms. i dunno. it was kinda cool. this morning nomey tells me that my mom called around... 10:30... and people were laughing at her because she was trying to have a conversation with her that didn't give off the fact that she was not sober... mom called to tell nomey to call home and make sure her dad had gotten home so her little brother wasn't alone. i had no clue. but then nomey told me that mom was going to be there in about half an hour.. and she looks at me and says 'shiiiiit...' cause i was right out of it. better than i was before... but still fucked. i think i managed to walk to the van without looking like a drunk. i couldn't find my shoes though. and every once in a while i would yell 'where the fuck is my camera??' just lost things. i woke up this morning with a red spot in my eye. and my toes are beaten on my right foot. scraped or something. not a fucking clue how that happened. i've also got 3 small bruises on the inside of my right arm. and i don't remember anything about how it happened. theres several hazy spots. nomeys' told me things i had no clue happened... or i did. i never even got to say bye to tanya. i wanted to go back this morning.. but all the parentals in the house are gone... fishing... i think. so yea. i wrote this. sorry it's kinda random and doesn't make sense. still kinda hung over. 9:04 a.m. - 2004-09-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||