obsidianblaq's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sigh sigh. i once asked someone if i should foster a hope for the success of this, or if i should start preparing myself now for the moment i died inside. 'foster a hope' they said. i should have gone for option number two. my hope for this whole thing just died. i thought about burning the cards and not even bothering to make sure he read them. but thats too much like giving up for me. so instead, i'll add one that says 'i don't think this is going to make a difference anymore. i don't know if it ever would have. but there's too much effort in it to throw away.' and give it to him anyways. not in person though. i don't need to feel so ridiculously afraid for the period of time it'll take him to read all the words i put together. a friend of mine simmo said "If he isnt affected by this, then he is made of stone... and isn't the one for you". it's such a sad realization. i hate falling for people. it only ever works if they're willing to catch you. and more often than not they let you crash and burn. anyways. i have to go. 7:11 p.m. - 2004-07-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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